Daily Silly Status

Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time

Someone told me that I seemed a little more classy than usual. The only thing I can think of is they somehow found out I used a Target bag instead of one from Wal Mart to line my bathroom`s wastepaper basket.

When my boss is in town, I set out pictures of kids on my desk. They aren`t my kids but he`d never fire a Mom of seven, right?

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn`t come back, what you`ve lost is a regular pigeon.

I should`ve married myself. I`ve never said no to sex. Not once. Not one single time ever.

Turns out I`m ambidextrous at yet another sport! And I even scored a bingo twice. Left-handed!

Imagine all the amazing places you could take naps if you were Superman.

If you ever want to know what you look like to the world, don’t look in a mirror, have a child draw you.

I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper place mats with puzzles...GAME ON!!

I didn`t break the rules. They were broken when I got here.

my imaginary friend thinks ur crazy? an shes hot!

I hate it when people upload song lyrics as their status`s it reminds me of somebody i used to know

Home alone… Time to teach the neighbors what good music sounds like!

I hope common sense is the next cool trend.

I want to see a pregnancy test commercial where 2 single people high five the sh!t out of each other because it`s negative.