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Sometimes all you need is $100,000
I wonder if "Sober Me" knows that "Drunk Me" can Breakdance?
Always look for the girl with the ponytail holder on her wrist.
It`s a good thing farting isn`t as contagious as yawning.
I put a pair of boots in the bathroom stall at work so nobody else will use the stall that I like to use.
I feel like the majority of Eminem`s songs are just him reading from his diary with angry background music.
Please don’t take anything I say personal or too seriously. I’m just an idiot with internet access.
Bend over and take it like a taxpayer.
Just once would I like to see the "Phone a Friend" lifeline on Millionaire go straight to voicemail.
Our sex was so good, the neighbors smoked after we finished.
I couldn`t be on a reality show because I wouldn`t want my mom to see how many times I make the jerk-off motion when we talk on the phone
My hearing is fine. There`s no need to repeat yourself! I ignored you perfectly well the first time.
Only a fool trips on what`s behind him.
I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don`t really understand kites or insults.
Does `virgin wool` come from sheep the shepherd hasn`t caught yet? ..just asking