Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Dear guys: Women don`t want pictures of your d!ck. Maybe try sending a screenshot of your bank statement and see where things go.
Idk what was worse, the fact that my girlfriend text me saying “sorry breaking up with you” or that a minute later she text me back “sorry wrong number.”
Never assume coz u wil make an "ass" out of "u" and "me"
Health tip: There`s never a `safe` time to shake a teenage boy`s hand. Never.
The Hulk just texted me a picture of a zucchini, I think?
My cat’s gonna be homeless unless he comes up with something funny to post on YouTube.
I hate those new parents who do the `baby talking`, yes I do, yes I do...
People with pierced nipples have no excuse for losing their car keys.
My problem? Smart phones are too smart.
Swearing releases stress and that`s just one of the f*cking reasons I do it.
Okay, I am getting really irritated. This is the 5th ATM I`ve been to today that`s had "insufficient funds".
People are obsessed with this storm but in a couple months no one will talk about it anymore, which is why they named it after the movie Juno.
A friend of mine told me i have to update my self and I asked my self : does he mean there can be a latest version of me?
Using dog shampoo when I run out of cat shampoo because I ran out of human shampoo a week ago.
I fight evil wherever it may be ... except in dark, scary places.