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whats the difference between a dog and a fox????? six shots
You only live once.......Unless someone has a defribrilator
I`d like to give a special thanks to my feet for supporting me and to my arms for being by my side at all times.
If you don`t put your leftovers in Tupperware for like at least two weeks before throwing it in the trash... you`re doing it wrong.
Give a fish some bread and he`ll eat for a day. Teach a fish to be a flying piranha and he`ll eat for a lifetime.
That amazing moment when you smack the remote and it actually works!
Found out today you`re supposed to urinate on a jellyfish sting, not a jelly stain. Sorry lady at the waffle house... just trying to help.
What if I am sexy and I don`t know it?
I got kicked out of the public swimming pool today. Apparently the `Breast Stroke` wasn`t what I thought it was.
Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.
I need more people like me in my life
Being a little bit crazy is like being a little bit pregnant - you can only hide it for so long.
Gone insane. Be back Tuesday.
If it was not for electricity, we would all be watching T.V. by candle light.
Buy a "World`s Greatest Boss" mug and drink out of it in front of your boss.