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“I don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
It takes a smoke detector 4 months to stop beeping if you were wondering how lazy I am.
I have a land line just so that I still have the option to slam the phone down when I angrily hang up on someone.
Can someone else be a sex symbol today? ... My good T-shirt is still in the wash...
Me asking if you want anything from Starbucks is my way of telling you I am going to be very, very late
When I become famous I`m not going to tell anyone.
Passive aggressive has never been my thing, I prefer chasing you with a chainsaw.
Just sneezed 8 times in a row and saw the entrance to Narnia for a split second.
I have no idea how I used to look for things in the dark before I had a cellphone.
Adam didn`t take any crap from Eve. He wore the plants in that relationship
I`m so fresh they call me "ferbreeze"
What I lack in vocabulary, I make up for in…you know...stuff...and...things...
Ugh, I forgot to go to the gym today. That`s 9 years in a row now...
Wanna have a little fun? Post "Anyone know a good lawyer?" Then sit back and watch the speculation run wild!
I bet the women who only post about sex are probably some of the nicest men you’ll ever meet in person.