Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes I say stuff without even meaning to be funny and I`m like "Man, my subconsicious is hilarious!"
Checklist: Poke People ? Delete People ? Block People ? Send Friend Requests ? Accept Friend Requests ? Ignore Chats ? Make Stupid Photoshop Pics With My Face ?....Morning chores all done.
This generation is guilty of making the wrong people rich and famous.
Sometimes it would be nice if the world had an off switch.
I put my head between my legs and lean forward.....thats how I roll
Whoever said the camera adds 10 pounds should stop eating cameras.
I think I need to lose some weight. I tried to sit up earlier and ended up rocking myself to sleep
The only stock options I have are chicken and beef.
The funniest thing about being sober is to realize you were so drunk last night you were texting all night with a calculator.
Depending on how you look at it, half of 8 could be 4, 3, or 0.
When I`m bored, I like to superglue Doritos to my cat and make it run around the house like a stegosaurus.
I saw my ex getting beaten up by half a dozen thugs. For a second, I thought, "Should I help?" Then I thought, "No...6 should be enough."
If I had a time machine, I`d just keep going back every 8-9 hours so I could sleep more.
I just finish reading "50 shades of gray" by Sherwin Williams. I don`t see what all the hype is about these paint brochures.
The term "chubby chasers" is so inaccurate and misleading. Cause we don`t run.