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It is days like today that I am glad that we all don`t live in a Yellow Submarine. Well at least not in the same one.
I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I`m down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wall.
You know what’s funnier than watching someone trip and fall? Absolutely nothing!
My greatest achievement today was writing this status.
Does all this status updating make my ego look fat?
Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
I wish the buck stopped here…I could use a few.
exercise........you mean extra fries
Sometimes I think my job is actually a hidden-camera game show where they see how much absurd bullshit I’ll put up with before I catch on.
If your neighbor has wind chimes, you have wind chimes.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but this is just gardening facts.
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.
Society: Be yourself. Society: No not like that
Some questions just answer themselves. Like, sit-ups or pizza?
morning i hate girls evening i need girls