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Thought I had $707 in my bank account, turns out it was "LOL" and I was holding my statement upside down.
One day, I`m gonna wait for the Wal-Mart greeter to go on a bathroom break, step in their place, and begin welcoming everyone to K-mart.
Just about the time I started to give a crap, my attitude became constipated......
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
If you answer the phone and say "Hello, you`re on the air." most telemarketers will hang up quickly.
Digging through a box in the closet, I found a picture of me sitting on Santa`s lap. Hard to believe that was almost a year ago.
Ever update an app and realize the "fixed issues" were all a lie and it will never be the same? That`s what going back to an ex is like.
F*ck It - My final thought before making decisions.
Just picked the remote up off the floor with my foot while laying on the sofa so I guess today is leg day.
I hope the final frame of Breaking Bad is white text on black background: "None of this would have happened if we had Universal Healthcare."
They told me to never give up. Now they call me a stalker.
Love is... saving money to buy her shoes!
According to serving sizes tonight, I`m a family of 4.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich
We think therefore we must be, but are we?