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30 years later and my Cabbage Patch Kid still has no clue that he`s adopted.
It`s nice to know I`m wanted....even if it`s only by the Police!
It should be standard for wedding invitations to state if there will be an open bar or not.
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
I show my age when I`m in a club with all the 20 somethings.. Guess its because the last dance step I mastered was dancing like Gene Gene The Dancing Machine
In paintball, you should be allowed to use a paintbrush as a knife.
I`m changing my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts, and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this
I`ve been holding my stomach in for 3 years now so don`t talk to me about dedication!
Today is the first day of the rest of my Vodka.
I solve all my problems by creating three new ones as distractions.
Step aside coffee, this job is going to take hard liquor.
I puked in the backseat of my friend`s brand new Mustang in the Fall of 1989. There wasn`t any social networking back then, so I`m telling you all now...
9 of 10 voices in my head telI me I `m crazy. One hums ...
Just signed a $320,000, nine year deal with my therapist.
I would want to change my name to `Nobody` on Facebook. So when someone updates something stupid it says `Nobody likes this`