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You can tell a guy has a woman in his life when he remembers to do stuff like put on deodorant and wipe his butt most of the time!
Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days
Don`t exercise ... fat people are harder to kidnap
Goodnight friends, strangers, pervs, weirdos and a$$holes, and anybody else I left out.
I don’t know if I have a stalker, but if I do, could you drop off some milk. Thanks.
It`s like my kids don`t even believe how cool I was in the 80s.
What`s the right age to stop running naked from the bedroom to the bathroom?
My favorite iOS7 feature is how it distracts me from the fact that I`m wasting my life poking a glass screen.
I`m getting sick of seeing all these lyric status`s, it reminds me of somebody that I used to know.
Yo! My friend won a trip to China. He´s out there now... trying to win a trip back.
That`s disgusting! (unless you`re up for it?)
I can`t help but smile when I see a woman wearing a Supertramp Concert t-shirt
I hate it when I tell someone I`ll be there in 10 minutes, but they continue to call me every half-hour anyway
In my day we had to roll the windows up and down with our bare hands.
Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.