Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
For Valentine`s Day my wife wanted to.... well, you know. It started with her handcuffing me to the bed. And for three solid hours she watched whatever she wanted on television
Of course it`s you. If it was me I wouldn`t even bring it up.
If I could be anyone else in the whole world, I would still be me so that I wouldn`t have to buy new clothes.
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
If you`re a vegan an atheist and a liberal, how do you choose which way to annoy people at Thanksgiving first?
Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don`t wanna have to explain why I`m in your `Random Party Pics 08` album at 4am.
For $60, this printer ink had better be hand squeezed out of endangered squids.
Doctor said only clear liquids before surgery. Vodka qualifies right?
The Patriots defensive coverage was almost as bad as the coverage by Obamacare.
They keep telling me theres plenty of fish in the sea, but I havent caught one in years, soooo I continue to sit here, holding my rod.
I`m just looking for a reason not to drink
If only someone on the internet would give me their opinion on the election.
You`re only young once but you can be immature forever!
How I sing it: "A, B, C, D, E, F, G,....H, I, J, K, A LEMON OH PEE!....Q, R, S....T, U, V....W, X....Y, and Z."
Suddenly I can`t remember if it`s ok to use tampons as Nerf darts or if it`s the other way around.