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Sometimes, late at night in the market..i switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
Getting out of bed feels like the worst thing that’s ever happened to me ... every time it happens.
I don’t repeat gossip, so listen carefully
When I see a guy sleeping on an unfolded cardboard box, I never know if he`s homeless or just tired from breakdancing.
Really discouraging that there`s still bald people in sci fi movies.
Well I didn`t know that minding my own business becomes part of your business to mind
You`ve been on more hotel pillows then chocolate mints.
Acting like a mature adult is super easy if you hate having fun.
thinks we need to think like a first grade teacher and separate Romney and Gingrich next time they debate!
1 in 3 Americans, weighs as much as the other 2.
My body is made up of 90% water, 5% pizza and 5% wine.
If the people in horror movies would just listen to me, they would still be alive!
They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says "Eating Doritos".
Ever since I installed AdBlock, all the single ladies in my area seemed to have lost interest.
Im switching some friends from my Facebook account to my Fakebook account.