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So you`ll be able to buy Girl Scout Cookies online this year ... Your move Weight Watchers
One of the most important things in life is perserverance. Hang on...perseveren...no, perserveer...pesever… oh, never mind.....
I wonder how many hobbies you have to suck at before you take up bird watching.
Let`s go to my place and do the things I`ll tell everyone we did anyway.
The only time my wife will ever scream "DEEPER, DEEPER" is when they are lowering my casket into the ground
Some dude was bragging about his brother being a navy seal and it`s like...I don`t care what colour he is, why is your brother a seal
You`re never too old to be spanked ...If you play your cards right.
If money cant buy happiness,explain beer!
There`s a bald spot in my yard so I`m gonna let the grass grow around it really long and then do a comb over.
... and so begins another failed hundred or so attempts at trying to write the correct year on anything I date.
Somethings are best unsaid but my brain to mouth filter has never worked right.
Gaining weight while you owe me money is a sign of disrespect.
I`m so fresh they call me "ferbreeze"
Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don`t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!
I`m writing this status very slowly, cause I know you guys can`t read very fast.