Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Corn mazes are great because how often does one get to experience the feeling of being trapped by corn
Ill be in my office giving co-workers the silent treatment ..by sending them blank emails.
Didn’t have internet on my phone for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 17 books and showered.
If a girl texts you and asks if you think she`s fat and you try to respond "Nooo" autocorrect changes it to "Moo" so that`s pretty cool.
I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
I am so thankful and grateful that out of all the planets in the universe, we live on one with pizza and vodka.
Clearly, it is wrong to describe woman`s menopause as "the old Fallopian tubes finally rusting shut." My bad.
After four centuries, the semicolon has finally achieved it`s true calling: helping people wink online.
Why do people say "nice to meet you" before I`ve even said anything? How do you know it`s nice to meet me? I`m an a$$hole.
received a call saying that my son had been lying in school, and was being expelled. I don´t have a son. That kid is one damn good liar.
Every time I see a pregnant woman, I very much want to ask if she swallowed a watermelon seed.
If pigs really could fly I bet their wings would taste delicious.
Wait, whaddya mean... cookie dough can be baked? Seriously?
I`ll go to extreme lengths to get the last bit of toothpaste from the tube but I`ll also watch 2 hrs of Nick Jr if I can`t reach the remote.
I want to see a pregnancy test commercial where 2 single people high five the sh!t out of each other because it`s negative.