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“Hangover” makes it sounds like it’s all done now. I’d like to propose the term “hanghappening”.
I’ve been a sucker for boobies since the day I was born.
If someone asks me if I need help finding something in a department store I like to slowly describe a gun
Strangers are like birds. If you run at them screaming and waving your arms they will run away.
45 minutes on the treadmill is no big deal if you don`t turn it on
whenever i`m bored I just expect at any moment for the Koolaid man to break through my wall and take me on a deliciously refreshing adventure!
When I`m really bored at work I like to write "I`m watching you" on the toilet paper a few squares in just to mess with people.
Did the Baha Men ever find their dogs? Did they put up posters or just sing that song?
The best part about being an adult is, nobody can tell you, you can`t have ice cream for breakfast.
No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you. I just want the oil change
Whoever convinces blind people that they need sunglasses,, is one heck of a salesman....
Made the decision that I`m done having kids. Yet every morning I wake up and there they are asking me for breakfast.
U.S.A.... where people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke
Found a note on my door today that said ”You’re Awesome!” ... Yes, I wrote it yesturday. But still, the truth is the truth.
Several decisions I make on a daily basis hinge upon the question "illegal or just frowned upon?"