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The meek shall inherit the earth. Probably because they`re the only ones who won`t complain about what we`ve done to it.
I`m actually a pretty normal person when you ignore the faint cries for help coming from my basement..
Women are always complaining that men are messy by leaving clothes layin around…..That’s because women take up all the closets
Seems like Pizza Hut should be able to afford a house by now.
My favorite hobbies are practical jokes and masturbation. I’m always trying to pull a fast one
A simpler, more believable theory is that all the dinosaurs got married and just quit having sex all together.
Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.
One things for sure, I can always count on my fingers.
If you hold a 40oz bottle to your ear you can hear the ghetto.
Happy Fathers Day from your handsomerist and smarterist son
facebooked yo mama!!!
Of all the possible utensils that could have been invented to eat rice with... How did 2 sticks win out!?
Dear whoever is playing sweet child o` mine at 2:30 in the night at full blaring volume to disturb the whole neighborhood......NICE!
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Life is not like a box of chocolates. It`s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today might burn your a$$ tomorrow.