Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "Also, you live next door."
If you watch Intervention backwards, it`s about a person partying hard after an awful family reunion.
I love it when I Google something I should know the answer to and find out 308 people are just as dumb as I am.
If you ask me, every Friday is a Good Friday.
I`m convinced that every time a sock goes missing from the dryer, it comes back as an extra tupperware lid.
I pretend I’m taking an important call and use big words when old people walk by so they’ll think the future is in good hands.
Let’s all take a moment and be thankful spiders can’t fly.
The awkward moment when you set something down for a second and it disappears off the face of the earth.
I’m that kind of person who between two choices always pick the wrong one.
If you`ve Liked more than 15 of my posts over the past year, I assume you`re okay with me putting you down as a personal reference on this job application, k?
I have no time for stupid people But they sure seem to have time for me.
The wifi going down on me is the most action I`m going to get tonight.
I dream of a day when a mysterious hand will pop out of the screen and b!tch-slap you silly each time you post a boring or stupid status.
OK. So I took the road less traveled. Now where the hell am I?
My dog takes so long to sh!t I can`t believe he`s not out there playing Candy Crush.