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We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches.
life is unfair theres 6 days between monday and sunday but only 1 between sunday and monday
Thank God! the women with 3 boobs was a hoax... I just couldn`t wrap my hands around it....
You only live once.......Unless someone has a defribrilator
I often wonder how things worked out for that guy who grabbed the bull by the horns.
Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri, "What do women want?" She`s been talking for the last 2 days and doesn`t seem ready to shut up anytime soon.
50% of people believe s@x is "the connecting of two people`s souls through two people`s bodies, as one." The other 50% are guys
I get very nervous out when my Subway sandwich moves up the crowded assembly line without me.
My life coach just benched me.
This police sketch artist has no idea that he`s about to draw me as the most bad ass Batman caricature ever.
Iām not the kind of person you ever put on speaker phone.
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they`re going to be when you kill them.
Neighbors at it again. I do NOT want to know the words to "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus!
How long are Winnie the Pooh and Tigger going to ignore the fact there`s something seriously wrong with Eeyore
Just bought a car with the money from my swear jar.