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If you watched a person cut a piece of wood, would that be sawed or seen?
I purposely bought the same grill my neighbor has, so every time it needs to be cleaned, I just switch them at night.
Monday must be a man ... It comes too quickly.
If an officer asks “do you know why I pulled you over?” “Because it’s the only way to get girls to talk to you” is a bad answer, apparently
Upside to hurricanes... you might get a free boat delivered to your front yard.
It doesn`t take much to make a woman happy, but it takes even less to make her mad.
Every Chrysler commercial should begin with them apologizing for the PT Cruiser.
Ghetto wet floor sign: Caution Bitches Be Trippin
Know what this salad needs? A Big Mac.
Wives give sound advice. 99% sound, 1% advice.
Every time I`m around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence.
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
I will admit, my statuses sound a bit different when read aloud by the prosecuting attorney.
I call in sick on full moons just to make them wonder.
Why do we call it the Sun instead of a space heater?