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Who the hell invented Bull Riding? "Hey, I`m gonna hop on that 2,000 pound pissed off animal...Time me!!!"
I want someone to look at me the way I look at chocolate cake.
Sorry for nicking your car w/my door, but you didn`t leave much room. It`s small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
I`m so scattered I don`t know whether I found this rope or lost my horse.
Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, nudity, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.
Cool thing about winter is after grocery shopping your car can double as your refrigerator.
Would stiff nipples be a good name for my air conditioning company?
The bottle of Pepto Bismol say’s 4 out of every 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one of them enjoys it?
If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don`t think this relationship is going to work.
I hate it when people dont know the differece between Ur and U`r
Applebees is a word that starts off pretty tame but takes a dangerous twist
My girlfriend left the lights on, on her Smart Car last night. This morning I had to jump start it with my Android.
Making good decisions doesn’t really go with my outfit.
How long are Winnie the Pooh and Tigger going to ignore the fact there`s something seriously wrong with Eeyore
Dear Ninja Turtles, Why are you wearing masks? There are no other giant, mutated turtles. No one`s gonna mistake a different turtle for you.