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If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.
Your family tree has a couple of coconuts
I put the pro in inappropriate.
I`m not impatient. You`re just slow.
The best part of time travel will be sleeping until noon and making it to work on time at 8am.
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I`m totally flexible.
Working from home and HR already cited me for sexual misconduct.
If my glass is half full then I start wondering where my bartender is.
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. It was way too literal for me.
Just spent 20 minutes on the treadmill without breaking into a sweat......tomorrow I might even switch it on!
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking!
I`m laying on my yoga mat making up fake poses to fit my current activity level. Right now I`m in "downward facing chalk outline".
My Status updates are so great people hit the like button twice
I`ve dieted and worked out enough to realize that the only way I`m getting smokin` hot is by getting cremated.
My "Savings Account" is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets.