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You say `pervert with a telescope` ... I say `biological astronomer`.
common sense is like deodrant. the people who need it thr most never use it.
I wonder if angry people know about naps?
I ate cereal for dinner because I do what I want. I`m an adult. Oh did I say adult? I meant poor. It`s because I`m poor.
Just quit my job so I can spend more quality time giving out candy crush extra lives.
I`m so scattered I don`t know whether I found this rope or lost my horse.
I thought about cleaning my room this weekend but didn`t do it. Then I remembered its the thought that counts so I feel better now
People with jobs: It`s Friday!!! People without jobs: It`s Friday?
I bought a box of "SO CALLED" Hot Pockets --- brought them home, and opened one to eat it, and the Damned thing was FROZEN ----- Miis-Advertizing at it`s BEST!!! Now what do I do with the Damned thing???? :-P
I don`t get why people find drunk text annoying
It turns out if you cry at the DMV they`ll let you take a second photo
Since 4th of July falls on a Wednesday do we drink the weekend before? the weekend after? That Wednesday? The entire week? The entire month? The entire year?
If you`re feeling too good about yourself, go ask a 5 yr old to guess your age. That should even things out.
To a cop, doing donuts in a parking lot has a whole different meaning.
Based on how I startle when toast pops up, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.