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As you Mature... you learn that you cannot make someone love you.. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in..
I wish my GPA looked like the gas prices right now...
Whoever figured out that you can make cake in a mug in under a minute was probably really going through some sh!t.
Do the spectators at golf tournaments know they don`t have to be there
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it’s strapped to the top of someone’s car.
“Check that sh!t out” luckily rarely refers to actual sh!t.
WikiHow suggested 9 Ways to Celebrate Earth Day.... I did all by ?#? SLEEPING?the whole day! How???? I smoked less, used water/power less etc. Wikiwikiwiki!!!!!
Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.
When people have cars as their profile picture I automatically presume they are a transformer.
It`s Sunday or as I like to call it, "No pants day".
I like confusing kids by telling them I`m older than the internet
I`ve just finished doing my hair, want to come over and mess it all up?
Apparently when your girlfriend says "f*ck that bitch", you`re not supposed to take her seriously.
How come they didn`t call this years game the BUD bowl?
You`d think the self checkout lanes would have more mirrors.