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People, like prescription drugs, should have to list the side effects they`re likely to cause.
Steve Jobs is now working with God to make iWife... Beauty with brains and Mute button
I just researched the medicinal name for Viagra..... MYCOXAPHAYLYN
I have this great midnight snack it`s called, what do I think my roommate won`t notice if I eat the edges off of
The only thing I understand about Algebra: I look at my X and I wonder Y
Non alcohilic beer, for people who like to pee but hate that annoying buzz.
I wonder what Facebook employees do at work to waste time.
Couples Halloween costumes always end up looking like one person went along with it to save the relationship.
Everything I like is either: illegal, immoral, fattening, addictive, expensive, or impossible.
I saw a lady with twins babies. One had a shirt that said ‘Copy’ the other ‘Paste’. That made my day.
Get off your high horse. Seriously, it’s not safe to ride any animal that’s stoned.
Without ME, it’s just AWESO.
Word for today: Dipshidiot
You`re always ahead of schedule when it comes to disappointing me.
Baking soda seems like a scam. "Be sure to keep this box of magic white powder in the back of your refrigerator."