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MISSED CONNECTION: I gave you the Heimlich maneuver on Maine St. You insisted you weren’t choking and put up a good fight.
Got kicked out of the hospital. Apparently the β€œhead nurse” is just the one in charge of the other nurses.
Todays Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.
Don’t ask me to kill a spider for you & then criticize my methods. Yes, I had to use a samurai sword, & no, I’m not sorry about your table.
I have over 500 facebook friends, and i want to say that i love you all...except for number 376 ..you`re a real a@@hole!!
I really need a day inbetween Saturday an Sunday
Seems like 2013 was just yesterday.
Just saw Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter... So that`s how it happened! I knew what I learned in history class was a bunch of crap!
Admit it, you have that one voice that you only use on animals and babies.
Whenever I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper bag over my mouth … and drink all the vodka inside … It seems to help
Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don`t have a moon where I live.
Found out the difference between onions and men. I don`t cry when I`m chopping up men.
My 17yo pretends he doesn`t understand how the washer works when I ask him to do the laundry Congrats, you`re finally a man
So I met an Egyptian ... they walk just like us.
I`d like to help you out ... Which way did you come in?