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PLEASE - put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has been eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn`t know, they can also breathe fire. 93% of people won`t copy and paste this, because they have already been eaten by dragons. 6% of people are sitting in the shower armed with fire extinguishers and the remaining 1% are awesome and will re-post.
I’m that kind of person who between two choices always pick the wrong one.
I don’t understand shark movies I mean just get out of the water.
I might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery the odds are about the same
Forgets to set alarm, wakes up 3 days later.
Stop waiting for the perfect moment. Take a moment and make that sh!t perfect.
I was going to do stand up comedy years ago but then I thought ...Ugghhh, standing...
Bran flakes. Helping pants fit better for over 100 years.
You know what the trouble about real life is? There`s no danger music.
I`d engage you in a battle of wits, but I`m afraid you`re unarmed.
I’m back on my feet again!! Wait, false alarm the remote is right here.
No one answers their phones anymore... If I ever get arrested, I don`t want a damn phone call, I want a facebook posting.
The early bird needs a punch in the throat.
A few more months without getting laid and I should be eligible for employment at Gamestop.