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My resume is really just a list of all the things I never want to do again.
My eye problems starts on Mondays and ends on Friday evening. I see clearer after the fourth bottle.
Note to Denver Broncos: Marijuana is NOT a performance enhancing drug!
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.
Burger King is offering delivery service in some areas. I don’t trust it. Everyone knows it’s impossible to drive without eating the fries.
I hope I never have to run for my life. It wouldn’t end well.
Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
I`m God`s gift to women if he stopped at a gas station last minute.
The only thing us men clean at home is our browser history
Traffic would be awesome if we all drove hamster balls.
Whenever I see a woman breastfeeding in public, my first reaction is to get in line.
Billion dollar idea: Make a prescription drug that gets rid of the side effects of all the other prescription drugs.
Benefits of hooking up with me: You will be hooking up with me. I could go on but I think I made my point.
I googled "cigarette lighter" and got 150000 matches.
The new iPhone will have a finger print scanner. Or, in other words, Apple is about to amass the largest database of biometric data in the world. I’m sure the people of NSA are dancing like little school girls right now.