Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hate it when a website greets me with a pop-up window. It just feels like you should say hi first, maybe buy me a drink.
You never know what you are missing,until you clean your room.
Whenever I lock a car up I always press the button twice in a row to let all nearby thieves know that I mean business.
My boss says I intimidate the other employees, so I just stared at him until he apologized
I can only please one person a day...and today is not your day!
Before Walmart, you had to buy a ticket to the fair to see a bearded woman.
Sure you can try and tell me what to do. Or you can keep your teeth.
Thank you for showing me your Facebook wedding album. Now if you have time, here is a slideshow of my top 36 scores in Mario Kart
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes
Putting on deoderant and colonge because you haven`t showered in days, is as about as useful as shutting the lid on a toilet after its overflowing.
When your running down the street on fire, people will get out of your way
My neighbors listen to AC/DC at 6:00 every morning. Whether they like it or not...
You know it`s been a good night when you wake up and see bite marks on the walls...
Do you know what I hate worse than people? Groups of people.
"Based on a true story" means it happened more or less like this, but with ugly people.