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Hey, if anyone needs help raising their kids, come talk to me. I`ve been one for 30 some years now.
I just made you think of an elephant
I`m not Unemployed, I`m just taking my next job`s vacation in advance...
It`s a good thing farting isn`t as contagious as yawning.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
If someone doesn’t stand up to let you pass them in movie theater seats, it’s totally cool and legal to fart in their face as you walk by.
I don´t like people who can´t make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.
I`m an accident looking for a place to happen!
People think that a girl`s dream is to find her perfect guy & be with him forever... That`s Crap! A girl`s dream is to eat without getting fat.
Sarcasm is funnier when used on people who don`t understand it.
It`s like the people in this restroom don`t even want my help unbuttoning their pants. STOP RUNNING AWAY I JUST WANT TO HELP YOU
If my fridge had glass doors I would still stand there and hold the door open.
You use Google every day but I bet you can’t remember the order of the colors.
Growing up we were so poor. If I wasn`t a boy I would have had nothing to play with.
I’m not saying I’m psychic, but I’m positive I will have no interest in what you’re about to say.