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If you just got invited to do something on New Year`s Eve, it means someone else cancelled.
something about today makes me want to be hungover tomorrow
Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and a crappy party host.
The problem with trouble is that it always starts out as fun.
Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who is not buying this?
Just moisturized my hands and now I can`t get out of the bathroom. Send help.
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don`t give a damn!
What if 11:11 actually works but there`s one person in this world that`s wishing for everyone`s wishes to not come true?
My hearing is fine. There`s no need to repeat yourself! I ignored you perfectly well the first time.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Walmart
I want my children to have all the things I never had so then I can move in with them.
Line forms here for spankings
Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.
My plans for GTA 5: Beat the crap outta people, Steal a cops gun, Jack a convertible, Rob a bank, Jump off a building, Go to GameStop, Buy GTA 5
Probably a good thing I`m not a ghost cause I`d just stay in the kitchen and scare people then eat all their food.