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I`m well on my way to getting absolutely nothing done today.
Insert coin to view my status message.
The recipe I am making says to chill for 30 minutes so I`m sitting back and having a margarita!
For Sale. Old batteries, free of charge.
Yeah he`s still bugging me...he thinks Harass is two words.
This one isnt that funny, keep scrolling.
Every time I see a preview for Hoarders, I grab the closest thing to me and immediately throw it away.
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
Happiness is using an ATM and finding a receipt left by someone with an account balance lower than yours.
is a reasonably intelligent person who does moderately stupid things on a semi-regular basis.
Of course you should follow me. I’m funny. Ask anyone. Well, except my mother-in-law. Don`t ask her.
Actions speak louder than passive aggressive Facebook statuses.
I`ve come to the point where I don`t even procrastinate anymore ... I just don`t do it.
I think my “check engine” light has finally burned out. So that’s good.
When I text someone and they don`t text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted from the excitement.