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Laugh now, but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world
Hunting is easier for vegans because it’s easier to sneak up on plants.
can´t seem to find love. but its okay. I know exactly where the beer is.
“I’ll be speaking with my lawyer” is the adult version of saying “I`m telling mom”
I look forward to paying off all my debt and finally getting back to just being broke.
Sure, I`ll go to your open bar and watch you get married.
I f*cking hate you. Hope that clears things up.
So, when people say "LOLZ", does that mean they laughed themselves to sleep?
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the heck are you doing?
I`m emotionally constipated. I haven`t given a crap in days...
I`m too lazy to ever write a biography. Story of my life.
My goal in life: Build a time machine and travel forward into the future until I can stop and ask someone "Do you know what `buffering` is?" and they are clueless.
I’m not implying you’re stupid. I’m saying it outright. Here, I wrote it in crayon to help you understand.
My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel crossing the street.
The iPad: Because the iPhone was too small for other people to notice you.