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Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
Happiness is the journey, not the destination, and when you reach your destination, ie; bottom of a beer, you must embark on a new journey, ie; get another beer........
I totally tricked this woman into sleeping with me. All I had to do was put a ring on her finger and live with her for the rest of my life.
If you have a tattoo on your face, you`ve lost the right to ask me what I`m looking at.
Just in: Chinese people confirm they were just messing with us with chopsticks. "You guys look like dumb idiots lol" says one Chinese guy
People with multiple personalities should donate one of them to people who don’t have one.
Pandora has spoiled me. Five seconds into any conversation and I`m looking for the thumbs-down button.
when humans are in love they get butterflys...dose that mean when butterflys are in love they get humans!! :)
Life in the fast lane ? Heck, I live in oncoming traffic.
Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
I can tell by your boobs that you`ve never seen a bar tab.
That akward moment you try and deep throat a banana and get caught ... and your a dude.
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they don`t laugh either.
I used to think paramedics were ghost doctors.
The older I get, the more I understand someone`s desire to just say-"F*ck it. I`m going to be drunk all the time & live under this bridge."