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I have an inferiority complex, but it`s not a very good one.
Let`s talk about how fabulous u think I am.
Naked yoga in the backyard is the best way to get the neighbors to pay for that privacy fence.
Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.
I`m so broke that I can`t even pay attention!
Who named them veterinarians and not "dogtors"?
My girlfriend wants to get married. I hope she finds someone nice.
You couldn`t handle me even if I came with instructions.
Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I’ve done in my entire life.
Of course bears sh!t in the woods, they do most of their stuff in the woods, very few bears own a house.
How long do I have to stand in front of the microwave for to become a member of X-Men?
I have heard of women that aren`t crazy, but I`ve also heard of Unicorns.
Some of the best memories I have are of times right before the cops showed up.
Several decisions I make on a daily basis hinge upon the question "illegal or just frowned upon?"
"Oh my god, you`ve gotten so fat! Want me to make you something to eat?" - my mom