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Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs.
President Obama says his daughters need minimum wage jobs to "learn what it means to work." May I suggest the same for members of Congress?
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with the chair I was sitting on!
Flip flops are fun because every time you take a step it`s like a high-five for your feet.
should probably get my daily dose of calcium.. white russians it is
I love a woman in uniform. I mean naked.
Babies are so cute because none of them are mine.
Roses are red, Violets are blue... Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you thought this would be something sweet and charming, but it`s just some garden facts.
The downside of dating intelligent women is having to Google what they call you when it ends badly
is a reasonably intelligent person who does moderately stupid things on a semi-regular basis.
I want to meet the guy whose complaint led to cashiers asking me if it`s okay if they put the receipt in my bag.
If you start smacking people with your wife`s purse she won`t ask you to hold it for her anymore
How dare the NFL build walls to keep fans that haven`t paid for a ticket from entering the game!
Relationship has 12 letters, but then again so does alcohollllll