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I got called pretty today! Well actually the full statement was "you`re pretty annoying!" But I only focus on positive things
Sorry I got mad and said a bunch of things I meant but shouldn`t have said out loud.
The best thing about telepathy is... I know, right!?
The 21st century. When deleting history is more important than making it.
Nothing good has ever come from answering a call from a blocked phone number.
My brain is about as well organized as the Walmart $5 dvd bin.
Wouldn`t it be great to revive the old "Mutual Of Omaha`s Wild Kingdom" show, but with a new setting? Like a WalMart Store in Kentucky?
Who decided to call the man purse a satchel and not a douchebag?
Sometimes people come into your life and they need to stop doing that
Slightly used Christmas tree only one month old. Paid $60. Looking for $40. No low ballers. Serious inquiries only. Come on let`s get this thing done.
People are obsessed with this storm but in a couple months no one will talk about it anymore, which is why they named it after the movie Juno.
Last night I got so drunk I blacked out for two hours, but then I realized Iād just put my hoodie on backwards
Iām still kind of pissed they never told us how to get to Sesame Street.
The only thought I have for the weather lately is that someone somewhere is losing a game of Jumanji.
Laugh now but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world.