Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Arguing with a woman is like buying a lottery ticket, you`re proably not gonna win, but you`re sure as hell gonna try!
All sex is safe sex if you keep your bright orange reflective vest on.
You call the shots. I`ll drink them.
My wife started clipping coupons to help save money. She keeps them in the side pocket of her $800 purse.
Hi, you`ve reached my voicemail. Send me a text like a normal person.
I leave notes on people’s windshields telling them I smashed their car and did an amazing job fixing it.
Ever met a boring and stable girl who was good in bed? Exactly.
Facebook is like a fridge. When you`re bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there`s anything good in it
Ebay is really getting worse and worse to use. Yesterday I searched for a cigarette lighter. I got 3,974, 601 matches...
Alcohol doesn’t make you fat… it makes you Lean… on tables, chairs & random ugly people.
Why does using a straw make it so much harder to admit there’s no more soda?
If owls are so smart, how come they don`t say "Whom"?
Jingle all the way. Nobody likes a half-assed jingler.
Those 5 donuts I ate are really going to give me an extra boost during my workout today.
I`m smiling, that alone should scare you.