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Roses are red Your thong is pink Cover that up You`re not as hot as you think.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve opened the refrigerator and thought, What am I doing inside the refrigerator?
The best moments in life are simple… you know like when you sit down and get comfy and the remote is magically next to you.
Prostitution must be a hole sale business.
I thought I was on the cash cab show! But turns out I was in a police car and cops hate trivia.
Things to do today.....pet all the spiders in my house at least twice with my shoe.
Running feels great unless you compare it to not running
If you guys could read my mind! It would be all like; " "
My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on.
If your problem can`t be solved by me saying "damn" and nodding a lot, then you shouldn`t come to me for help.
So, at this point, should we really still be calling them New Kids on the Block?
The mailman just delivered an 8-track of Boz Skaggs Greatest Hits. I guess this fulfills my Columbia House obligation.
I`d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don`t wanna see you everyday.
Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.