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Dear college students, Sorry about your GPA. - Netflix
Just because they sell yoga pants in XXL doesn`t mean it`s ok to wear them in public.
I have cat-like reflexes. If I hear a loud noise, I keep napping.
I hate Russian nesting dolls. They`re so full of themselves
Do you think people in Mexico ever say, "Those jobs keep stealing all our Mexic?ns!"
If no one comes from the future to stop you, than how bad of a decision can it really be.
Someone’s going to ruin things; it might as well be me.
My GPS says "time of arrival" ... I see "time to beat."
I`ve got my wise-ass in my smartypants so I`m ready for anything!
Over the weekend I pulled a muscle getting off the couch to fetch more Doritos.
people say nobody`s perfect..i made nobody!..
It`s the weekend!!! The " Responsible Adult Button" has been switched to OFF!!
I put the “Pro” in Procrastinate.
I threw a shotgun shell at my daughter`s date. ..then I told him it`s much faster after 11pm
BREAKING NEWS: Will Smith sends Miley Cyrus to live with auntie and uncle in Bel Air.