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Damn it. I missed the number of the day on Sesame Street and now I don`t know how many pills to take.
Got a problem with me? I’m pretty sure a status on Facebook won’t fix it.
It’s like these fools at the gym have never seen someone with roller skates on the treadmill before.
I have an irrational fear of speedbumps… but, I’m slowly getting over it.
In the 1960s, if you said "All my music is in the cloud" it was due to mushrooms; not Apple.
The funny moment when a fat kid says "that`s how I roll".
I`ve always wondered why they don`t have a pregnant Barbie doll? Turns out Ken comes in a different box...
Recent survey asked people in the U.S if there are too many immigrants: 17% said yes, 83% said Lo siento, no hablan Inglés
A woman saying "I`m not mad at you" is like a dentist saying "You won`t feel a thing."
I hope I die doing something extreme like climbing Mt. Everest or telling a woman I don`t like her new haircut.
I have decided to follow my dreams.....starting with that one where I am naked at work.
Alcohol is never the answer, unless the question is, "why were you barely conscious on the kitchen floor eating dog food?"
awesome collection!
Cops don’t like it when you ask them “Need some help?” especially when you’re wearing a Batman costume.
Hey you! Yea you ... Don`t just pass by my status and not say hi.