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I want to spend the rest of my life photo bombing the Google street view camera shots dressed as Waldo.
When I say "I cleaned my room", I usually mean I made a path from my door to my bed.
Taco Bell is donating burritos to feed firefighters in Colorado. Talk about putting gas on the fire,
I had to defrost the fridge last night before bed. Or foreplay, as she calls it.
Apparently somebody gets stabbed every 52 seconds...sucks to be that guy
Life is a constant battle between my love of food & not wanting to get fat.
I`m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
I`ll take an ice cream sandwich please. You know what? I`m trying to be healthy, can you change that to an ice cream salad instead? Thanks
I could snap at any moment. Seriously, with either hand.
I wonder how many people read my statuses and say `I hope he`s getting professional help`?
is running out of excuses for the stupid things I do. Please submit suggestions below.
A great thing about being single is never having to erase your history tab.
You`re not unlucky. Bad things happen to you because you`re a dumba$$.
I have a confession to make... "I want to get back with my ex"...LOL Just Kidding..."I`d rather shit in my hands and clap !"
A book fell on my head, I can only blame my shelf.