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Financial status: I hope United Airlines drags me off my flight
It`s so cute how all the free sandwiches in the fridge at work have little names.
There’s both a McDonald’s and a blood pressure machine in this Walmart. Circle of life.
I was struggling,trying to figure out how lightning works .....then it struck me!
It`s always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
Life`s too short for Salad..............
It`s not that people use only 10% of their brains, it`s that only 10% of people use their brains.
Nothing good goes into a microwave at 2:00am.
I hate it when people radiotype us blondes as dumb.
How come dogs aren’t ticklish?
“we should hang out soon” loosely translates to I’m doing everything in my power to end this stupid conversation.
FUN FACT: If you take all of the marshmellows out of a box of Lucky Chrams, you`ll have a bag of Purina Cat Chow
I`ve done it in the bathroom, I`ve done it in the bedroom, I`ve done it in the kitchen, on the couch, outside, in the bus, yoo I just can`t seem to stop this texting.:)
I was in my kitchen cleaning when suddenly I realized OMG! ... I`m late for Facebook!!
I bet guys that work at strip clubs are "hard" workers...