Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If zombies ever do attack just go to Costco, they have walls, years of food and supplies, and zombies can’t get in without a Costco membership.
Say what you want about Kim and Kanye naming their daughter North West. That kid is headed straight to the top. And slightly to the left.
I fell asleep on the couch last night & woke up thinking I was married.
I`m terribly sorry but I have decided not to grow up and act my age after all. So there.
I would like to say to all my 500+ facebook friends, that i love each and every one of you..except you number 371..your a real a@@hole!!
Another beautiful morning I wish I was sleeping through.
I like to keep my friends close, and my attractive friends even closer.
I always confuse the words exotic and erotic. That made for a very awkward conversation at my local pet store.
A new study says schizophrenia and pot smoking are genetically linked — but don`t worry, another study says you`re just being paranoid.
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes a great Subway sandwich.
Wouldn`t it be awesome if MTV had a show called "16 and Applying to Colleges"
If you have alphabet fridge magnets, and morals. You probably shouldn`t invite me over.
is here. Now what are your other two wishes?
If you ring my door bell you better be the pizza guy or a sexy naked lady ... with a pizza.
I’d steal a doughnut truck and attempt to outrun the cops, just to let people see a bunch of cops chasing a doughnut truck!