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My neighbor`s are going out of town for the weekend so I finally have the house to myself.
Doing absolutely nothing on the weekends has started to feel more fun than actually going out.
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.
Screw you recommended serving size. You don’t know me.
Life is funnier when you have a dirty mind. ;)
I was the hot single in my area the whole time.
My friends are weird. They keep vegetables in their beer crisper. Freaks
Really close to my perfect target weight. All I need now is one more stomach flu
Don`t kiss behind the garden . Love is blind but the neighbors are not :P
I like confusing kids by telling them I`m older than the internet
Help I`m covered in chameleons & no one believes me
You haven’t truly won an argument until the other person says “whatever.”
The point is... Is Imma hug you like a panda nd you`re gunna like it.!(:
Let It Snow is my favorite song about people who don`t understand how weather works.
I think abs are for guys that don`t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.