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They say a woman’s work is never done. Maybe that’s why they get paid less.
Wow!!, What a day..I volunteered at a soup kitchen, mowed my lawn, went to 2 Birthday parties, ran 6 miles, then told a bunch of lies on Facebook.
60% of women fake orgasm.. 100% of men don`t give a sh*t about it..
Why do guys go to bars to meet women? Go to Target. There`s like 10 women to each man and they`re already there looking for things they don`t need.
We had a power outage last week and my PC, TV and games console shut down immediately, so I had to talk to my family for a few hours. They seem like nice people.
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who’s free for the weekend
You`d think that with as much time as women spend looking at their butt in the mirror they would be able to parallel park.
Having a bit of a lazy day! I`m sitting in my underwear looking for better jobs online ... My boss doesn`t look amused.
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends` food looked like.
I just kicked a can in my driveway and somehow ended up with a goal against Brazil.
You know it`s getting bad when the voices in your head start texting you
Does Holy Crap comes from Holy Cow.?
There are plenty of fish in the sea ...That`s cool and all....but I`m a human.
For just once in my life I want my phone to ring and for someone on the other end to ask if I`m on a `secure line`
I wanted to book an Elvis impersonator for a party so I phoned them up and got a call centre. It said `press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.`