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When I was a kid they didn`t call it "Behavioral Disorders", They called it "Being a little brat".
Girl: I am not having having s@x with guys at the moment. Boy:I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue
That moment when you are having a conversation in your head and you realize you are making faces that go along with the silent conversation.
You laugh because I´m different. I laugh cause I just farted!
I need a Shazam app for people I`m supposed to recognize but can`t remember
If you`re having second thoughts, you`re 2 ahead of most people.
Daylight Savings makes us lose an hour... It’s kind of like Facebook.
Im afraid to go outside or even sit next to a window during an lightening storm. Im afraid that I`ll get zapped! I`m scared that God is gonna get me!!!
How can I trust you when you keep running away every time I untie you?
I live in a madhouse, ruled by a tiny army, that I made myself
Seriously, it’s almost 2014, can we please get some waterproof phones? I would like to text in the shower.
Guys be like, "Lets play 21 question." Girl: Ok, what`s your favorite color? Boy: Triangle, so you a virgin?
I`ll never join one of those dating sites. I prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way. By alcohol & bad decisions.
Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok, or some rough sex or whatever...
Went to Walmart yesterday and bought me a new toilet brush, I think I am gonna go back to using paper, it is much more gentle on the netherlands........