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I like to go on job interviews wearing an eye patch and switch eyes when the interviewer looks down.
It was love at first sight...I should have looked twice.
Is the CEO of Kraft also known as The Big Cheese?
Please don`t hastag out loud...
I never owned a telescope, but it`s something that I`m thinking of looking into.
I spend 90% of my time at the gym choosing the right song for my workout.
I´m on a whisky diet. I´ve lost three days already!
I havend`t heard from DAEMON MAILER in years, I hope he`s okay.
My mission is to be the first person on Facbook to have one million people on their block list. . .
Dora the explorer.... Y U NO GET GPS?
I would unblock you but then I`d be admitting I`d made a mistake and that`s just not my thing.
I believe in love at first sight or as science calls it, "boners."
tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes
Well, I`ve officially entered the, "Why did I come into this room?" phase of my life.
I just thought you should know, I just did all the laundry and didn`t lose a sock to the dryer monster...