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Can you imagine the reactions 25 years ago if you showed someone a photo album of pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
You know nothing about a woman, until she is drunk and mad at you.
Always be yourself, unless you can be Batman, always be Batman.
Missed the gym yesterday.... That makes 11 years in a row.
In space they just call it "Jam"
I get worried when someone posts a kitten pic with a foreign language, I don`t know if they`re showing a cute kitty pet or their dinner.
The ski racks on my car say I’m fun, adventurous, and can’t figure out how to take the ski racks off my car.
There`s 3 ways to get something done: 1. Do it yourself, 2. Hire someone or 3. Forbid your kids to do it.
eHarmony has a 24 month plan. How ugly do you have to be to need 2 years to find someone?
If you see someone crying, ask them if it is because of their haircut.
You`re only young once but you can be immature forever!
Just ran across a great dessert recipe...Cut up some bananas, apples & oranges in a bowl. Add fresh squeezed lime juice. Then toss it in the trash and eat a cheesecake.
If i had a dollar for everytime i was thinking about you, i would start thinking about you.
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can`t make coffee.
The saying, "Say no to drugs" has always made me laugh. If you`re talking to drugs, it`s probably too late to say no to them.