Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve opened the refrigerator and thought, What am I doing inside the refrigerator?
Netflix doesn’t care if u showered or not
You know what’s huge in Japan? ..Sumo wrestlers. ;)
There’s a thin line between “I should do a status update about that” and “I should talk to a therapist about that”
My inner self is in Photoshop
ah... Crocs the 21st century version of the chastity belt
It`s Friday the 13th. Good thing I`m not superstitious, it`s unlucky to be superstitious...
Every time I hear the phrase, "Fire at will!", I can`t help but wonder, "What did Will do?!"
“Grandbrother” sounds much cooler than uncle.
How come the voices inside of a crazy person`s head never say shit like "hey, go to the gym" or "hey, cure cancer" or "hey, don`t be crazy"?
Answering your cell when you don`t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.
They don`t say "Get down Mr. President" anymore. Now they just shout, "Donald Duck!"
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children don’t know very much about children.
Your screenshots of text message conversations tell me: 1. you have a great sense of humor 2. to never trust you
So your baby doesn`t know any tricks at all?