Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The only way to open a pack of toilet paper is to fingerblast a hole through the plastic in one of the roll holes
Halloween Drinking Game: Drink every-time an Elsa (from Frozen) visits your house.
The other day someone told me I could make ice cubes out of leftover wine. I was confused... What is leftover wine?
They’re called scents, not flavors, I should not able to taste your perfume or cologne.
Dear Microsoft Office Word I am pretty sure I spelled my name correct
My internet goes out more than I do.
What’s the point of making people like Paul McCartney and Elton John knights if they’re not going to joust?
In my defense, I was left un-supervised...
You better not pout, you better not cry, you better not shout I`m telling you why...we have our own problems and nobody cares about yours.
Facebook Poking Hours: Mon-Friday 7am-10pm Sat 12-11pm Sun Closed
Well, all I have to say is TGIF. (Post this on any day but Friday to get comments)
The number of lies told by men would decrease significantly if women stopped asking questions
I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn’t even eat them?
I wonder who was the first person to see an egg come out of a chicken`s booty and think..."I`m gonna eat that!"
Saw a brand new Prius totaled on my way home from work. Still had the window sticker. That would suck... Not to crash, but to drive a Prius.