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Actually, The quickest way to fix that annoying noise in your car is ... Just open the door and push her out.
I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.
Guinness for breakfast because its Ireland somewhere.
feels like getting some work done ... so I am sitting down until the feeling passes.
Quiet people have the loudest minds.
Instead of cars warning us of stupid things, like the door is open, it should tell us useful things, like there`s a cop hiding in the bushes
Dad, I love how we don`t even have to say out loud that I`m your favorite. Happy Fathers Day!
just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream
I`m not a control freak. I just know what`s best...for everyone.
Sometimes I stand in front of the mirror naked just to remind myself what nobody`s getting.
I wonder if the psycho hitchhiker ever gets picked up by the psycho driver. Now there`s a movie I`d pay to see.
The nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever so I can rest medicine didn´t work. I´m going to try 1 bourbon, 1 scotch and 1 beer instead.
I`m not anti-social I`m just pro leave me the f*ck alone.
The older I get the earlier it gets late.
Why the hell isn`t the iphone`s battery life called "Apple Juice."