Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Married sext: Iām not wearing any underwear, because you never put the f*cking laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 times.
We live in the era of smartphones & stupid people
When God closes a door, it usually has my fingers in it.
Here`s a list of helpful tips for meeting a great girl: 1. Don`t be me.
If women ruled the world, There would be no wars. just a bunch of counties not talking to each other!
Spread happiness by smiling at a stranger today, or flash them your boobs...... Strangers love boobs!
this is a status you spent your time reading: sj
"Dora" only rhymes with "Explorer" if you`re from Long Island, New York
Can you do me a favour? Stand in front of my car, I need to test my brakes.
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it`s that everyone speaks English after they die.
I really like ceilings,.. I guess you could call me a ceiling fan.
What an intoxicated Schwarzenegger might say to a police officer: "I`m an IDIOT you COP!"
I like my coffee like I like my men: caffeinated, made of beans, muscular, tousled hair, you know what, I don`t really know how to do this..
If I ever get to an age where the music from the ice cream truck doesn`t make me excited, pull the plug.
Dear Lord, Thanks for making me funny. Especially since you didn`t give me much else to work with.