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Black ice is just like regular ice except it dies first in movies.
The best revenge is happiness, because nothing drives people more crazy then seeing someone actually having a good life.
I hate those idiots with those bright halogen lights that are blinding, at least they can see my one finger salute.
Sadly, I don`t think anyone has Wang Chunged once tonight... :(
I’m like a kid in a candy store. I can’t afford anything.
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I remind myself that you cant always trust Google maps
Every time I see a preview for Hoarders, I grab the closest thing to me and immediately throw it away.
My doctor told me to start killing people. Well it wasn`t those exact words. He said I needed to reduce the stress in my life.
(Apocalyptic world) "Well guys......there goes our last female"
You`re the reason why I believe in condoms.
Checked my bank balance at the ATM and was happy to see I had 707 dollars in it until I realized I was holding the receipt upside down and it said LOL instead.
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza.
No, whenever there`s trouble, YOU always seem to be around ... officer.
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry
One way to find out if you`re old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you`re young, if they panic, you`re old.