Daily Silly Status

I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn`t even eat them.

Vodka is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.

I`ve just borrowed a book on surgery from my local library. Apparently someone`s taken the appendix out.

Saying an actors performance was unbelievable is actually an insult.

Note to self: When sending Valentines messages don`t use group text next year.

The older I get .... The more dangerous it is to sneeze

My friends are the kind that would flirt with the fireman while my house was burning down.

so, on a scale of one is to seven, which letter of the alphebet is your favourite colour?

"A vodka, please" "Sir, this is McDonald`s" "OK, a McVodka, please and super size it."

I sleep better naked.. why can´t the flight attendants understand this?

When a man says he`ll do anything for a woman, he means slaying dragons, killing zombies and rescuing her from castle towers. IT DOES NOT MEAN cleaning garage, fixing roof and cleaning out the basement!

Up to date Girl Scout cookie sales by states: California: 138,000 Boxes Florida: 129,000 Boxes Virginia: 126,000 Boxes Colorado: 8 Million Boxes

The best thing about having male genitals is sharing it with people who don`t.

St Patricks Day, when you can eat lucky charms dowsed in beer and everyone thinks..great idea!

Saw these three things on a corner, in this order: Liquor store, gun store, bank. What could possibly go wrong with that?