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Fun things to do in Walmart: Take the ``try me`` stickers off of the toys & place them on condom boxes.
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. “Alright, get in the basket”
Now that the Summer is over, I can finally stop pretending to be on a diet
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn`t hire stupid people.
North West? Im confused i thought Kim Kardashian gave birth to a child not a compass
Ziploc`s idea of how big a sandwich should be is very different from mine.
I`ve made up my mind, I`m not giving up anything for Lent, I`m no quitter...
Always finish your beer. There`s sober kids in Africa.
Cop: Are you on drugs? Me: Why would I sit on drugs? Cop: Have you taken any? Me: Taken them where? Cop: I meant used drugs Me: I prefer new
why do people with bad teeth always have a smile on there face
The girl at the Taco Bell drive thru gave me this “I know your high” look. I snatched my 37 crunchy tacos and got out of there.
tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes
The best part of being single is that you always get to be right.
If I had spoken to my parents the way some children do now, I would not be here to share this status.
There is a 99.9% chance I am hungry.