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I`m super lazy today! Which is like normal lazy, but I`m also wearing a cape.
Anyone know when Facebook is sending us our W-2`s?
FINALLY home from work! So, yea...if your phone number is on your profile...I will be drunk dialing you in about 30 minutes or so.
If each day is a gift, I`d like to know where I can return Monday.
Some people are training as complainers like it is a competitive sport
Congratulations, U.S. Government, you are now officially more embarrassing than Miley Cyrus
Pringles cans should have a twist mechanism like stick deodorant.
Given the places I`ve had my tongue, no we cannot "just be friends".
Bored, so Iām going to find a kid that looks like me and tell him Iām him from the future.
I remember the days when I could refer to my knees as right and left. Now I refer to them as the good and bad knee.
Whenever I hear about a man jumping off a bridge I can`t help but wonder how long he was dating my ex.
Being an American is awesome. The end.
Don`t judge a man by how low his pants hang below his a$$...just kidding, that`s a great reason to judge someone.
Feeling a little sassy today...But then again, that`s everyday