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Fellas; There’s no heterosexual way of taking a selfie.
if the shoe fits wear it , if it too tight take it off
Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside.
Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we`re married & live together so I`d have to see them every day.
I know you`re the instructor but I`ve seen Ghost 47 times so I know for a fact this IS how pottery is made!
Sarcasm is like a good game of chess. Most people don`t know how to play chess.
If your cup is only half full, you probably need a smaller bra.
I’ve been reading a lot about how to live and eat healthier and then not doing anything with that information.
I don`t like selfish people. I saw this guy pushing like 50 carts at Wal-mart last night. Really? You think someone else might want one?
"The secret is that it`s all in the wrist!" -My grandfather talking about golf or handjobs or something
My friend told me he`s going to have a sex change. Apparently, he just wants to eat, drink, and be Mary.
I don`t take steroids because I never want to look like I`m capable of helping my friends move.
Why do people with the most to say contribute the least?
The best thing about the internet is knowledge. You have all this knowledge at your fingertips! And we get to share what we learn with others! Oh...wait a second. I forgot about porn. OK I take it back. PORN is the best thing about the internet!
My number was 0...