Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Wives are just security guards hellbent on denying you access to your happiness, and porn collection.
Facebook should win an Emmy for Best Daytime Dramas.
I`m getting sick of seeing all these lyric status`s, it reminds me of somebody that I used to know.
Updating my status in the car. Don’t worry, I’m in the passenger seat. Which makes it harder to drive, but fools the cops.
Like a stoned man once said, I can`t remember.
Conspiracy theorists are all so dumb that I suspect they`ve been planted by a secret organization to distract us from what`s really going on
Even if your life was a total waste of space, there’s always hope that you’ll die in a weird enough way to make a CSI episode.
My wife said if this gets 100 likes, we`ll try butt stuff........ * Please DON`T like,,, her strap-on is big and scary.....
I took a nude photo of myself ... With the light off ... You`re welcome.
The corner of my bathtub is also referred to as "The Shampoo Bottle Graveyard"
AWESOME!
A world without Facebook would be much more productive.
Life is like a burrito. If you fill it with too many things it falls apart and then you cry and they kick you out of Chipotle.
My misery likes tequila, not company.
Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iphone, open and close their favorite apps. All by themselves. When I was that age, I was eating silly putty.