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I might not be a great example, but I´m one hell of a good warning.
Finally figured out what women want...SECURITY!!!......(At least that`s what they all yell when I try to talk to them...)
"The more the merrier!" usually means "oh, you overheard us making those plans, huh?"
What if aliens only abduct crazy people, because nobody will ever believe them?
WARNING!! I have character defects and I`m not afraid to use them.
Dude, I can`t post AND know when the light turns green. I`m pretty, not magical.
I found a spider in my shoe. He looks ridiculous, they`re way too big for him.
I took up the game of Golf recently. . .but I had too much trouble getting through that windmill.
It`s bad luck to be superstitious.
When people tell me "you`re going to regret that in the morning" I sleep in until noon because I`m a problem solver.
I will stop loving you, when Spongebob gets his driving license.
It’s the people that DON`T talk to themselves that are the crazy ones. At least that’s what I tell myself.
I may be evil, crazy, insane and f*cking naughty but I do have some good traits, I just don`t dwell on them.
roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poems.. you have nice boobs
All I`m saying is there`s a reason all the best love songs have the word crazy in them.