Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I like to go on job interviews wearing an eye patch and switch eyes when the interviewer looks down.
Invite me to your wedding . Invite me to go have fun , but please stop inviting me to your farm .
People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.
I love everyone these days... Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others, I`d love to punch in the face...
Roses are red, violets are blue. god made me pretty,what happened to you?
Happiness is using an ATM and finding a receipt left by someone with an account balance lower than yours.
Facebook needs a "settle down" button.. You tap on a friend`s profile, that locks them out for a day so they can work through stuff privately..
It`s frustrating to know, I`ll never experience the exhilaration of getting to meet me.
If you enter a room and there`s no food, you`re in the wrong room.
I just found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my mom’s bedroom. I can’t believe it.. She’s a superhero!
The cop said it was an outstanding warrant, dad! And you said I`d never amount to anything...
I`m trying to lose weight by eating carrots and bran muffins. It`s a fiber-optics diet.
Now that 1 in every 3 people cheats in their relationships,I`m left wondering. . .Is it my wife or my girlfriend that`s cheating?
Multitasking (verb) - Screwing up several things at once.
The only thing I can fix in this world tonight is another drink.