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I like people. I just don`t want them talking to me. Or breathing near me. Or making me look up from my phone.
I would call my fashion style: “clothes that still fit.”
FYI: Push-up bras don`t actually help you do more push-ups :(
I love you in a bipolar way because I hate you.
Is it just me, or is Fantasy Football basically Dungeons & Dragons for jocks?
Etc... A word used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
I didn`t break the rules. They were broken when I got here.
I slept and woke up. (ok, lately this has become a major accomplishment in my life)
Divorce: Step 1: She throws all your sh!t in the street Step 2: The judge says you have to give it all back to her.
Porn & love songs. Destroying reality forever.
I`m actually kind of handsome when you`re drunk and the light is low and there are no other dudes around and you have low standards.
Women are like bacon, they smell great, taste delicious and kill you slowly. Men are like bacon because we`re pigs.
I would love to kill you with kindness, but all I have is this knife.
Wanna have a little fun? Post "Anyone know a good lawyer?" Then sit back and watch the speculation run wild!
Trail Mix: M&Ms with obstacles