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umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
Given enough coffee, I could rule the world.
All the noises I used to make during sex, I now make getting up in my truck.
if its got tits you will get nothing but trouble !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Turns out if you fake your death every monday work catches on.
If my glass is half full then I start wondering where my bartender is.
Just a reminder that you don’t have to tell Facebook goodnight. You can just stop talking.
Soccer is just like my sex life. Long periods of time with no action followed by pure shock & surprise by all parties involved when I score.
I just spent an hour at the gym. I couldn’t find a close enough parking spot so I left.
If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you’re probably holding the taser wrong.
I just met the most interesting man at the laundromat And then I realized that he can`t even afford a washer or a dryer
Inspirational status of the day: Don’t be a douche.
I feel like I`ve passed my "Best If Used By date."
It`s weird how many people at my office are named "Hey."