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Do not read the next sentence. You little rebel, that`s why I like you.
Why I stay slim? I once was forced to pay for two plane tickets, one for a person who wasn`t travelling with me. That`s why.
if your happy and you know it ---thank your ex
Ladies, how do I work my man boobs and get out of a ticket? Quick, she`s coming.
Why is there Head & Shoulders shampoo? Who has hair on their shoulders? Who`s shampooing their shoulder hair? ... please come forward.
LADIES: Not all men get into a relationship just for sex. Some just need a personal chef.
On the 12th day of Christmas my FB gave to me- 12 dudes I`m blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted Barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, fiiiivvvvee drama queeeennss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends a-pokin and a creep who wont stop Inboxing meee... ;)
YouTube "This video is not available in your country". where the hell am I from? NARNIA?
It turns out that 3 is the amount of times you can suck on your dentist`s finger before she stops believing that you`re doing it accidentally.
Bulimia: Twice the taste. Zero Calories.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.
It`s so strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people`s heads.
I am convinced God only created six days and the devil added Monday.
People in Detroit call Grand Theft Auto V "Tuesday"
Cheered myself up earlier by putting a "no U-turn" sign in a dead-end street.