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If my "friends" post just two more scripture quotes on Facebook, I will have officially read the entire bible.
One man`s trash is another man`s profile picture.
Never judge a book by it`s movie.
Do you ever watch a movie and realize you have to watch it again because you were on your phone the whole time?
By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I`ve likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.
So many feelings today. Mostly hunger.
Has anybody tried unplugging Congress and then plugging it back in?
After how long is it ok to tell your friends that they are imaginary?
To the lady at Costco with her son on a leash. I`m sorry that I asked if he was a rescue.
I don`t call it lying down, I call it landscape mode.
I can`t go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes.
Picking your nose doesn`t make you a bad person. .... but what you do with the booger will define you.
If I could have sex with anyone, living or dead, I would for sure pick living.
I haven`t seen any new Bigfoot pictures in a while... I hope he`s OK.
Running away doesn`t help your problems, unless you`re fat. Then yeah, run away.