Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m not paranoid, but everyone thinks I am.
Why do restaurants always say "Shirt and Shoes Required" but never say anything about pants?
Guess what`s brown and sticky... a stick.
Golf would be a lot more fun to watch on TV if the balls were on fire
Mom: You haven`t moved since I left 5 hours ago? Me: Excuse me, where do you think these chips came from!!???
Childhood is like being drunk: Everyone remembers what you did except you.
Dentists need cooler sh!t on their ceilings.
University; It`s like being unemployed, but your parents are proud of you.
If a zombie apocalypse were to happen in Vegas... would it stay in Vegas?
If you’ve gauged huge holes in your ears and don’t keep Oreo cookies in them for snacks then what the hell’s the point man?
Lets watch a reality show about nasty rednecks acting like rednecks, but get mad when one of them says something a redneck would say
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole
Apparently “finders keepers” does not include expensive cars in parking lots.
Bored? Simply send a text to a random number saying "I`m pregnant"
Sometimes you just see a post and think, "Yup it`s your own fault."