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I would watch NASCAR if hot wheels designed the tracks.
Is going to bed! Hopefully the Cleaning Fairies will come and clean my house tonight! Wishful Dreaming i guess!
Can you imagine if Facebook just decided to shut down and you see all these confused teenagers coming out of their house squinting at the sun/
It`s kill or be killed. Or eat a sandwich. Maybe go for a light jog. Draw a picture of a duck. There are a lot of options out there.
When I was your age, we drank water straight out of the sink.
Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said “too ugly to prostitute”
Werewolves tend to transform only upon noticing a full moon already in the sky, implying the affliction is 100% psychological.
When you are dead, you don’t know you are dead but other people do. The same applies when you are stupid.
There`s a sucker born every minute, but swallowers are harder to find.
I saw a book titled Learning To Read For Dummies. At first I thought that sounded insulting, but then I realized anybody who would be insulted by that title wouldn`t even know what it says.
wants to rock and roll all night
I`m not giving the kids a time out. I`m giving myself one. The thought of sitting in a corner & being ignored sounds just heavenly.
New rule: advertisements can no longer use adjectives. I`ll decide what is "fresh" and "natural" and "like a real girl" thank you very much.
I don’t know who or what is doing it, but one day I will find the thing that continues to steal one sock and destroy it.
Hope dogs are kissing us and not trying to see if we started tasting good yet.