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Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".. O_o
Girls love shoes… so if she throws one at you, you know she’s really pissed off.
I hear my ex is now into orgies, or at least that`s what the Craigslist ad I just posted on her behalf said.
I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness, so I don’t intimidate you.
If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why aren’t there Starbucks pumpkin spice latte trucks in the winter?
Old enough to know better, young enough to take a dare...
Why do they call a status a status if it already happened? I mean, shouldnt it be called History?
I haven`t seen any new episodes of Gilligan`s Island in awhile... I hope they`re OK.
I wish I was full of tacos instead of feelings.
The easiest way for me to lose inches is to switch to the metric system.
Tequila is Spanish for I’m open to waking up anywhere.
There`s nothing like the laughter of a baby....unless you`re home alone at 1 am...and you don`t have children...
Whoever snuck the s in "fast food" was a clever little bastard.
I just want you to be happy. And naked.
I will admit, my statuses sound a bit different when read aloud by the prosecuting attorney.