Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

If the planet is 4 billion plus yrs old. Is 2017 really the correct new year.
Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
Every-time I run I hear Mario Brothers theme song in my head, and look for things to jump over.
My doctor said he`s been practicing for 30 years. When will he start doing his job for real?
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
My idea of heaven consists of all of the things I`d go to hell for.
I think a good gauge of my personality is that I watch Homeland to relax.
Id explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons with me.
I sometimes check my blocklist to see how my prisoners are doing
Some of my friendships are bad for my liver.
mermaids swim by twerking do you ever just think about that
Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
The plural of beer is beer, which is very convenient when you are explaining to your wife why you were late coming home from work.
Some days itΒ΄s not worth chewing through the straps.
My dog is eating. I`m sitting next to her, staring intently at her, making her obviously uncomfortable. Yeah, how`s THAT feel, mutt?